Reflections and a Revolution

I can hardly believe that December 31st is already here - 2011 seemed to have drag on forever that I didn't think it would ever end.  Why?  Well 2011 will go down in history as one of the most uneventful years in my life.

Let me break down my uneventful year for you:

Traveling

Ok, I'll have to admit that I am grateful that I got to live in Italy, but to be honest after about 6 months here, it lost it's swoon-worth appeal.  Mostly because we didn't get a lot of chances to travel; hubby was away for a good chunk, or when he wasn't underway they couldn't go on leave, because they might have to go at a minutes' notice.  Yes, I realized that I signed up for this madness being a Navy wife and all, but I can still be annoyed at it.  And of course, I could have gone traveling by myself, but it would have been me dragging along 2 kids who would be fighting constantly and me worrying about spending any money because of a lecture I would receive afterwards.  So I did my "traveling" through my husband's deployments and relying him to take pictures of the places he went.

Now we did end up going to Florence (BELLISSIMA!) in the spring and Genoa (meh) in the fall.

Florence

Genoa

And I did get to go on a trip to visit the islands of Capri and Ischia.  And visited the surrounding little towns of Gaeta, Itri, Fondi, and Mondragone.

Ischia

Capri

 However, I really wanted to go explore more of Italy, you know like Venice, Pisa, Milan (we did Rome and Naples in 2010).  And I REALLY wanted to get OUT of Italy; I wanted to see Germany, Austria, France.  And Robert wanted to go to Greece.

So that was a bit disappointing.

School


I'm on my 2nd semester of my Marketing degree.  I've been on my 2nd semester since November 2010.  Seriously.  That accounting class really sucked the life out of me!  To be honest it took me over half of a year to get through it!  Now that I'm on my marketing class, I've been dragging since life crap happens.  So I'm really annoyed that I couldn't even finish a semester of college this year.

Navy


Not delving too much into this bit of information at the moment, but I'm really upset and unnerved with the Navy.  The long hours of work, the long and frequent underways, and now the military downsizing thing.... well that's enough said for now.

My Lazy Ass


Ok, I'll admit that I am one of the laziest people I know, but I'm also one of the most motivated.  As for my body and overall health, well I have found myself sorely lacking.  I pretty much plateaued in an unacceptable body image, which has made me far from happy.  And instead of doing anything about it, I've just sat around, cramming my face with cookies and chugging soda pitying myself.  It's not like I haven't THOUGHT about losing the weight, and becoming a more healthy individual.  I ALWAYS have good intentions - especially since I figured out that they reason we are not getting pregnant is because I'm FAT.  But, here I am a year later, 5 or 10 pounds heavier than 2010.  Boo.

Wow, now that I reflect on my year, I feel like a loser.  And that I spent 2011 feeling sorry for myself more than is healthy.  I need to change that.

But instead of turning to suicide, or making stupid resolutions, I am going to start a REVOLUTION.

YES, I said REVOLUTION.  I feel that 2012 will be a bunch of mini battles to improve myself and hopefully my outlook on life.

BATTLE #1: Patience
In 2012, I need to keep in mind that I don't control everything, nor can I.  That I need to delegate responsibility to where it's due, and accept that it may not be done EXACTLY how I would do it or as fast as I may have gotten it done.  AND when someone (ie: kids and husband) ask me how to do something, I need to learn to help rather than take over (or roll my eyes when they ask).

BATTLE #2: Healthy Body Image
This year it won't be about a number on the scale or on a test result.  It will be about me feeling comfortable with who I am and what I look like.  Of course, this doesn't mean I will think it will be ok for me to wear a bikini at the beach (umm, can someone say beached whale?), but it does mean that I don't think the world revolves around me.  For some reason, I get stuck on the though that EVERYONE is looking at me and judging me, so I don't wear or do things because I don't want to look negatively in other's eyes.

Of course, I plan on losing some weight, to get more healthy, also.  We have been struggling with me not getting pregnant for the past three years now, and even though I'm grateful for having the two kids that I do have, I always wanted a couple more.  But I believe, due to my weight, I am causing myself this bout of infertility.  (My last couple of doctor visits, also confirmed by doubts).

BATTLE #3: Projection Completions
I have too, too many unfinished projects.  This includes things as simple an unfinished scarf I was crocheting, to something as major as not finishing my school work.  This battle is directly connected to patience, because a lot of the reason that I don't finish is I grow impatient with the results.  I don't think that a miracle will happen, and that I won't have ANY unfinished projects, because that's not the person I am - I'm always on the move.  But I would like to decrease the amount of these projects down to a more manageable number, so I can feel less overwhelmed with my tasks.

BATTLE #5: Money Management
This is a really big one, especially when it comes to my husband.  I need to learn to spend more wisely and consider investing more.  Money does burn a hole in my pocket, and I like to buy things.  Then I feel bad afterwards.  I also realize that I spend money when I feel bad about myself and my life, and this spending is causing discourse in  my marriage.  So this is definitely a battle I will be working on this year.

BATTLE #6: Business Sense
Usually, I'm pretty smart when it comes to business.  What I'm mostly talking about is developing the ability to say "NO" when I already am overwhelmed.  That I save my profits, instead of running out and spending them.  That I don't dip into my personal accounts when I need money for my business, because I spent my profits.

2012 is going to be a big year.  A year for my personal REVOLUTION.

Buckle up and enjoy the ride!

♥ G